I feel like a misplaced person,
Growing up,
I was raised by a mother,
who wasn't a parent
and wasn't quite not a parent.
For all her concerns,
her own scars isolated her emotionally.
I was also raised by older relatives,
who care for me, and about me,
but whom I never bonded with.
How do I place these people in my life?
Maybe I am not the one who is misplaced.
Lovers have come,
told me so many things,
and walked away like words meant nothing,
How do I place my feelings for them now?
What did I ever mean to them.
I doubt I have ever been in a meaningful relationship.
Standing like Rachel Corrie before the bulldozer,
the bulldozer of depression.
Like her, it rolls over me on its path.
I stand in my personal intifada
alone and misplaced.
Every bomb is a suicide bomb,
and I stand on both sides of the wall.
Dante
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